I woke up in the middle of the night touching myself. I must have been dreaming something juicy. I took the time to go up to the loft and stimulate my clitoris until I had a lovely orgasm and crawled back into bed and drifted back to dreams. I woke up feeling very committed to my new challenge of really loving and nurturing myself.
My assistant filled my office with fresh flowers from my garden. I forgot how much I love fresh flowers. Our roses are so beautiful and fragrant right now. My office smells like a fresh flower garden and that feeds me, it brings me tons of pleasure and I am taking the time to savor the scents and the visual beauty of these arrangements. I also decided to take stretch breaks throughout the day. I did a little yoga, took some deep breaths and as I made my way back to the office I took the time to feel how amazing I am and suddenly I notice the breeze on my skin and the warmth of the sun on my face and I felt amazing. Sometimes the sun on my skin along with a cool breeze sends shivers all over my body. It didn’t take much, and I felt fed, and ready to dive into work. Just a few moment of noticing and a little self care make the day a magnificent one.
Where do I begin? Let’s see, late last night, after midnight, I really just wanted things to be like old days, before my baby was born. I used to get myself to sleep with multiple orgasms every night, but every since I gave birth, I haven’t been able to do that; the opposite happens and I’m up all night. But I went for it anyway. A lovely nostalgic late night/early morning romp.
I woke up in the morning ready for my orgasmic shot of energy, so I made love to myself again. My mind was on fire during the entire session. I just kept thinking about Erotophobia, the fear of the erotic; sometimes also called sexual shame. I know that there are a number of causes, but it’s still so hard for me to understand why sex has become such a “bad” thing. Why are things like masturbation, oral sex and anal play so taboo? I just don’t get it. Sex is wonderful. It’s something so natural. It’s such a way to celebrate being human. I’m glad I’ve worked through most of my sexual shame. It still comes up every now and then, but for the most part I’m pretty free.
Early this morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (so much for my elevated moods theory!) due to the fact that I was running late for the dentist, where I knew I would be tortured for the next three hours. Someone suggested that I take a vibrator with me to counter balance the pain with pleasure. I wasn’t brave enough for that, but I did go there in my mind and felt some arousal combined with the sound of drilling. All was good until I got the bill for $1700.oo ouch! That hurt worse than anything. I went to Yoga class because I was a ball of tension, it helped some, but by the time I got home I was glum and not at all in the mood. Pain and financial yuck make a combination for low libido. But when I went down to my office I found a giant box of sex toys and erotica from Eden Fantasys waiting for me! Yippee! But before I dove in I decided to go up to my love loft and continue my yoga practice, only this time with clitoral stimulation. I often here of couples playing with sexual positions, but I’ve never heard of anyone doing solo sex in a variety of twists, so I went for it: Downdog, Forward Bends, Back Bends, Legs Open, Legs Shut, Pigeon, Up Dog, Side Twists, you name it, it tired it. I noticed that closed leg positions or positions that required some muscular tension seems to be the most arousing for my body. After all that I went back to my office to film, and to open my giant box of toys! I laid them all out on my massage table and thought to myself that this 101 Days of Self Pleasure is the best idea I’ve ever had! Here’s a pic… http://101daysofpleasure.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/109_0092.jpg
It’s a big work day today, feeling tired, but nonethless, I am noticing some benefits to this project. On is that my perception that I don’t have time for myself is going away completely. Another benefit is that my mood is better. When I take care of myself, I feel better and I treat the people around me better. Orgasms are a great thing! Today I did my session in my office, which might not have been the best choice being that my mind was wandering and racing. I played with my clit while exploring tension and relaxation. I love noticing the pleasure that I built and that causes me to have energetic orgasms…splendid!
Kegel exercises are so important for everyones sexual wellness and pleasure. This morning I got up early to do a Pelvic Floor workout with a Bamboo Pleasure Object by Nobessence. I started with 5 squeezes in and then 5 pushes out, repeating several times and adding an inhale with each squeeze, exhale with each push out. Then I played with one hard full contraction and one slow push out. Some arousal started building so I added clitoral stimulation with resistance on the toy by trying to pull it out with my hand, but resisting with my vaginal muscles. This was great, and I ended up going into orgasm! It’s the only workout I know where I get to build strength and have an orgasm!
Day 4 started out marvelous, went to an all women’s spa and gym where I recieved a hot stone massage, facial and sauna. From there I did a workout and had a Kale Smoothie for lunch. I felt so relaxed I thought to myself that I should just have an entire day of spa. I haven’t done my Tantra practice since I got pregnant, so it was the perfect opportunity. After a shower, I crawled up to my love loft, where I set the intention to use pleasure as a guide to inner peace. The very first Tantra training I ever took was in Ipsalu Tantra Kriya Yoga, where I learned a daily practice based on a formula of Activate the body, Still the Mind, Arouse Sexual Energy, Transmute, and then Play in the heart space. For those of you unfamiliar with Tantra there is plenty of information out there, my practice has been a spirutal path, as well as something that I have used to enhance my intimate life throught greater connection and intimacy with my partners. So, I proceeded through my Tantra practice. I even invented some new techniques and after two different orgasms I was in bliss. Too bad that just minutes later when I went to film my Flip cam FLIPPED and I had filmus interuptus! Had to run to the store to get a new camera (the Kodak Zi8). I felt like all the relaxation of the morning flew out with my flip cam.
It’s almost 11:00PM, I’m exhausted and my head is pounding, and I have more work ahead of me after a 12 hour workday. Will I still find time for self-pleasure? YES! Not only that, but there are a few suprises in my Love Loft. I’m amazed at my body’s ability to get aroused, no matter the circumstances. Taking time for self-pleasure is so important. After my session my headache was gone, my mood was better, and I had renewed energy to get all this work done, depite it being after midnight right now…