Men often masturbate before going out on a date or having sex with a partner. It is often to help pro-long the lovemaking experience- to help them last longer since they have already ejaculated. But you hardly ever hear about women masturbating to orgasm before sex with a partner. I decided to do it and see what happened. I did a bunch of clitoral stimulation, played in and out of my pattern and had a great orgasm. It was great to have a little foreplay with myself before getting on my with guy. I was curious if it would decrease or increase my desire for him. I do wonder what the difference would be if I had just worked myself up, but didn’t have an orgasm. That will have to be for another time.
A few hours later I was up in the love loft with my partner. He was having a lot of pain in his hips and legs, so I started by just holding his pelvis. He talked about how stressed he has been, how much pressure he is putting on himself and how much he has missed us being able to connect for long periods of time. Tears came into his eyes and he started to release a bunch of emotion. I was crying too. It was a very emotional and intimate session. We started touching and holding each other going in and out of emotional intensity. We did some oral sex, lots of touching and very little penetration. Neither of us had a big explosive orgasm, but instead we had something very deep, very intimate and very connected. I think that if hadn’t had an orgasm earlier in the day I might not have been in the space for something like this. I might have felt like I needed some “normal” sex and my orgasm. It was nice to just float in pleasure, love and connection without any need for anything more. It was quite beautiful and heart felt and even more fulfilling than any orgasm could be.
Another 14 hour day teaching at our Super Sex Life Make-Over. I did a demo for the group on Erotic Trance. I closed my eyes and quickly used my breath and self touch to go deep into my sensuality and erotic energy. It’s so hard to describe this experience. We don’t have words for moving erotic energy, for orgasms that happen from just a thought, or even touching through your clothes. I have to admit that I am exhibitionist, so having people witness me adds to the experience. After my one minute erotic trance demonstration the group seemed in awe. One man exclaimed “I want to do that!”. Luckily I have filmed what this looks like, since it’s so hard to put into words. It’s really the first film I ever wanted to make, and I’m going to edit it myself. It’s my first project where I am editing by myself. I’m so excited for it.
I’m teaching 14 hour days with Sheri Winston and Ellen Heed. Tonight Ellen led a class where we learned how to touch certain areas on our pelvis in order to aid in relaxation and emotional release around our sexuality. We held certain points on the pelvis like the front of the hip bones, the back of the hip bones, the pelvic bone and sacrum (the triangular bone at the base of the spine). It was deeply relaxing which left me in a very aroused state. It was close to midnight when I arrived home. I laid down exhausted and energized from a day of teaching. I placed my hand on my pubic bone. I held my hips and I added movement. I used to teach and performing as a belly dancer so I started moving my pelvis the way I would if I were dancing. I placed the heal of my hand on my pubic bone, with my fingers over my vulva and began to move, to find all the sweet pleasurable spots before drifting off to sleep.
Went up to the love loft. Really relished the time along, the quiet and just taking some time for myself. I decided to try a little Clitoral Stimulating Gel by Intimate Organics. Maybe there was something wrong with mine, but it was less of a gel and more like a smooth liquid. The directions said to put underneath the clitoris, I’m not sure if they meant the clitoral shaft of something else. So, I massaged the “gel” into my clitoral shaft and hood. I had the gentle strength, I think I needed more intensity. The best part was just taking time to give myself a nice genital massage. And after I had a clitoral orgasm I just took a moment to take a breath and be with myself, even though I wanted to get up and rush on to all the things on my “to do” list.
Oh, and Sheri Winston shared how she self-pleasured, even through jet lag and being overly stressed. She still found the time to enjoy herself, and in my office too!