Men often masturbate before going out on a date or having sex with a partner. It is often to help pro-long the lovemaking experience- to help them last longer since they have already ejaculated. But you hardly ever hear about women masturbating to orgasm before sex with a partner. I decided to do it and see what happened. I did a bunch of clitoral stimulation, played in and out of my pattern and had a great orgasm. It was great to have a little foreplay with myself before getting on my with guy. I was curious if it would decrease or increase my desire for him. I do wonder what the difference would be if I had just worked myself up, but didn’t have an orgasm. That will have to be for another time.
A few hours later I was up in the love loft with my partner. He was having a lot of pain in his hips and legs, so I started by just holding his pelvis. He talked about how stressed he has been, how much pressure he is putting on himself and how much he has missed us being able to connect for long periods of time. Tears came into his eyes and he started to release a bunch of emotion. I was crying too. It was a very emotional and intimate session. We started touching and holding each other going in and out of emotional intensity. We did some oral sex, lots of touching and very little penetration. Neither of us had a big explosive orgasm, but instead we had something very deep, very intimate and very connected. I think that if hadn’t had an orgasm earlier in the day I might not have been in the space for something like this. I might have felt like I needed some “normal” sex and my orgasm. It was nice to just float in pleasure, love and connection without any need for anything more. It was quite beautiful and heart felt and even more fulfilling than any orgasm could be.
After a fulfilling day of private session work, I decided to practice what I preach. I modified a technique called Aswini Mudra for one of my clients who is wanting to pro-long orgasms. I thought it would be a great way to enjoy myself during my self-pleasure session. So I started out with Aswini Mudra- inhaling one third of my lung capacity, contracting and relaxing my anal sphincter rapidly, inhaling a second third, contracting and relaxing, filling my lungs, contracting and relaxing, holding the contraction, holding my breath, rolling my shoulders up and forward and dropping my chin to my chest. Lifting my chin, taking a sniff of air, as I relaxed all the tension from my body. I did this all the while sitting with the heel of my foot on my clitoris.
After a few rounds I went fully into my self-pleasure, lying on the floor with a Liberator Fascinator Throe for some soft padding. I had the Njoy Pure Wand handy. I started with some clitoral stimulation combined with the Aswini Mudra. After I felt adequately aroused I decided to use the Pure Wand. With the small end I did g-spot, u-spot and a-spot stimulation. AWESOME! The combination of Aswini Mudra, with clitoral stimulation and the Pure Wand sent me into multiple orgasms. It started when I got close to a clitoral orgasm and I stopped the clitoral stimulation which triggered a Vaginal Orgasm. It was a large, wonderful extended orgasm. Then I went back to clitoral stimulation combined with the Pure Wand on my g-spot and u-spot, next thing I knew I was ejaculating. I kept going. Soon after came the big bang clitoral orgasm. I rested for a moment with aftershocks and sexual energy coursing through my body.
AHHHH! Gearing up for my Women’s Sacred Sexuality course, so I thought I’d get back in touch with a practice that I used to love to do on a regular almost daily basis. I would love to schedule more time for myself to this more often, it left me in a very peaceful arousal state, perfect for going into lovemaking with my partner. I’ve included more information about the practice below…
It was a very magical day when I first learned the Vajra Yogini practice. I was attending a workshop entitled Sexual Wholeness with instructors Kip Moore and Lexi Fischer. It was the 3rd or 4th day of the workshop and I was feeling very low. I went to the workshop without my partner and I was having a hard time with the level of intimacy of the work and not feeling supported by the men that I had to choose from. It was very challenging to honor my boundaries and feel into what I really needed. I was elated when the men and women were separated and we were given a day just to celebrate being women. At this particular time in my life I was also really having trouble cultivating my own feminine energy. I honestly was hating being a woman, I felt powerless and unattractive in my female body. But this day changed everything and it began with the Vajra Yogini Practice.
Lexi so gracefully led us through the practice and I was hooked instantly. I was very drawn to the fact that the Vajra Yogini was practiced by Tibetan nuns in order to master their female energies for rejuvenation. Sunyata Saraswati, one of the founders of Ipsalu Tantra Kriya Yoga learned this practice from the Tibetan nuns and passed the teachings down to Lexi Fischer who taught me. The practice is said to have originated in India between the 10th and 12th centuries
Vajra Yogini is not just a practice but is also said to have been a Dakini in real life. In Miranda Shaw’s book Passionate Enlightenment she says that Vajra Yogini is “inarguably the supreme deity of the Tantric pantheon. No male Buddha, including her divine consort, Heruka Chakrasaṃvara, approaches her in metaphysical or practical import.”. Vajra means “diamond like” or “thunder bolt” in Sanskrit. The Vajra is meant to be a symbol of firmness of spirit that like a diamond cannot be cut through, yet it can penetrate like a bolt of lightning. Vajra is also a term used for the male phallus, which I think is interesting given that Vajra Yogini is a feminine practice. Vajra Yogini’s practice consisted of methods that prevented ordinary death and rebirth, by transforming them into paths of enlightenment. She also used the practice to take the mundane daily experience and transform them into higher spiritual paths, which is at the heart of many Tantric Practices.
There are rumored to be eleven different Vajrayogini practices or yogas. The practice that I did today is passed down from Tibetan Buddhism and does have some elements of Ipsalu Tantra woven into make the practice more effective.
Warning! This is probably my most explicit post to date, so don’t say I didn’t warn you. I just had to take advantage of the huge tub in my hotel room. I poured myself a hot bath and threw in some bath and massage oil with Ylang Ylang in it. AHHH! The bath was so great that I couldn’t resist self-pleasuring. I noticed when I looked up that I could see my reflection in the large shower head. I positioned myself so that I could witness my self pleasure. Just like my pole dancing early today, it was hot! I brought some additional toys that weren’t being used as teaching aids. After a long time in the bath, I got out to do an intense self pleasure session starting by using the Ophoria Rapture with Clitoral Stimulation. After some time I added the Nobessence Kegel Sexerciser for Vaginal Stimulation. So I had all three going at once- clit, anus and vagina. After a few orgasms I decided to get back in the bath. When I went in to the bathroom to take out the Sexerciser I gushed all over the floor, that the second time thats happened. The bath was still warm, and a glorious place for after glow. I quickly shot this video, before reading some erotic fairy tales and heading to sleep.
First thing this morning I went to a pole dancing class. It was wonderful to be in a group of women and enjoying this energy. It was taught by the creator of S Factor, who is amazing by the way. I learned to slow down with my movments, and the power of slowness was reinforce for me. I went back to my room and dedided to continue this energy by doing an erotic strip tease for myself. I watch how my body moved in the mirror. It was such a huge turn on. I danced for myself for a long time before moving to any kind of genital stimulation. I really wanted to stay in this erotically charged place so I decided just to move it all through my body as opposed to having a physical orgasm. I can’t wait to go again tomorrow morning!
I’ve heard that smell can trigger orgasms because of the link between the olfactory nerve and memory centers of the brain. So I decided to go ahead and experiment with this by using some Frankincense oil. I love Frankincense because it reminds me of annointing. I love thinking of Goddesses annointing their lovers with fresh Frankincense oil. So I will experiment with Frankincense as a trigger to orgasm. I took some deep inhales of the scent and then rubbed the oil into my feet. I payed special attention to the place at the bottom of my foot that the Taoist refer to as the bubbling spring. From there I hopped onto my massage table where I massaged my nether regions with the Inspire Massage Wand. I played with a variety of techniques including putting the Inspire on my finger which I placed on my clitoris. I notice that my orgasms with a vibrator are short and light as opposed to the deeper more intense orgasms that I get from using my hands.
I Started to wonder if I would actually get my self-pleasure session in today. We had relatives come in from out of town, a radio show to do, a museum visit (where I saw a very inspirational and sexy short film called Minotaur), and dinner out. We didn’t get home until 10:00PM, and I still had to get the baby to sleep. But I made it!
I grabbed some Kombucha and headed down to my office. I Started with reading a little erotica from My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. Just knowing I was reading erotica was a turn on. I thought back to our Radio Show, where we talked about dark sexual energies and ravishment and I thought I’d like to ravish myself. When I looked at my table of new toys I picked one that said Ravishment to me. That was the Nobessence Seduction made out of Black Palm. This wood is so beautiful that I felt honored by it’s sensual hand made sculpture. I was ravishing myself with art! It felt amazing by the way. I sat in my office chair and gave myself deep penetration with the Seduction, while adding clitoral stimulation. First I had an ejaculatory Orgasm, then clitoral. When it was all over it was almost midnight! Whew! Just made it!
Early this morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed (so much for my elevated moods theory!) due to the fact that I was running late for the dentist, where I knew I would be tortured for the next three hours. Someone suggested that I take a vibrator with me to counter balance the pain with pleasure. I wasn’t brave enough for that, but I did go there in my mind and felt some arousal combined with the sound of drilling. All was good until I got the bill for $1700.oo ouch! That hurt worse than anything. I went to Yoga class because I was a ball of tension, it helped some, but by the time I got home I was glum and not at all in the mood. Pain and financial yuck make a combination for low libido. But when I went down to my office I found a giant box of sex toys and erotica from Eden Fantasys waiting for me! Yippee! But before I dove in I decided to go up to my love loft and continue my yoga practice, only this time with clitoral stimulation. I often here of couples playing with sexual positions, but I’ve never heard of anyone doing solo sex in a variety of twists, so I went for it: Downdog, Forward Bends, Back Bends, Legs Open, Legs Shut, Pigeon, Up Dog, Side Twists, you name it, it tired it. I noticed that closed leg positions or positions that required some muscular tension seems to be the most arousing for my body. After all that I went back to my office to film, and to open my giant box of toys! I laid them all out on my massage table and thought to myself that this 101 Days of Self Pleasure is the best idea I’ve ever had! Here’s a pic… http://101daysofpleasure.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/109_0092.jpg
It’s a big work day today, feeling tired, but nonethless, I am noticing some benefits to this project. On is that my perception that I don’t have time for myself is going away completely. Another benefit is that my mood is better. When I take care of myself, I feel better and I treat the people around me better. Orgasms are a great thing! Today I did my session in my office, which might not have been the best choice being that my mind was wandering and racing. I played with my clit while exploring tension and relaxation. I love noticing the pleasure that I built and that causes me to have energetic orgasms…splendid!
YAY! I have had 7 days of self pleasure, numerous orgasms of different kinds and more showers in one week than ever taken in a week since the baby was born. Today I was just not in the mood. I was in total mommy mode- diapers, pumping breast milk, laundry, and playing with Legos. So turning on my sexy self was a bit difficult. I went up to the love loft and started with a little belly massage, I noticed how quickly I was getting aroused, just with a little touch and little breath. From there I moved into indirectly stimulating my genitals by massaging just above my pubic bone. I noticed that my nipples were sore, so I treated myself to a breast massage. Breast are amazing! They make milk and that is a super power. They are also capable of pleasure, lots of pleasure! So, I massaged them. I decided to try a vibrating massage wand called the Inspire. I’ve never been much of a vibrator girl…