Men often masturbate before going out on a date or having sex with a partner. It is often to help pro-long the lovemaking experience- to help them last longer since they have already ejaculated. But you hardly ever hear about women masturbating to orgasm before sex with a partner. I decided to do it and see what happened. I did a bunch of clitoral stimulation, played in and out of my pattern and had a great orgasm. It was great to have a little foreplay with myself before getting on my with guy. I was curious if it would decrease or increase my desire for him. I do wonder what the difference would be if I had just worked myself up, but didn’t have an orgasm. That will have to be for another time.
A few hours later I was up in the love loft with my partner. He was having a lot of pain in his hips and legs, so I started by just holding his pelvis. He talked about how stressed he has been, how much pressure he is putting on himself and how much he has missed us being able to connect for long periods of time. Tears came into his eyes and he started to release a bunch of emotion. I was crying too. It was a very emotional and intimate session. We started touching and holding each other going in and out of emotional intensity. We did some oral sex, lots of touching and very little penetration. Neither of us had a big explosive orgasm, but instead we had something very deep, very intimate and very connected. I think that if hadn’t had an orgasm earlier in the day I might not have been in the space for something like this. I might have felt like I needed some “normal” sex and my orgasm. It was nice to just float in pleasure, love and connection without any need for anything more. It was quite beautiful and heart felt and even more fulfilling than any orgasm could be.
Another 14 hour day teaching at our Super Sex Life Make-Over. I did a demo for the group on Erotic Trance. I closed my eyes and quickly used my breath and self touch to go deep into my sensuality and erotic energy. It’s so hard to describe this experience. We don’t have words for moving erotic energy, for orgasms that happen from just a thought, or even touching through your clothes. I have to admit that I am exhibitionist, so having people witness me adds to the experience. After my one minute erotic trance demonstration the group seemed in awe. One man exclaimed “I want to do that!”. Luckily I have filmed what this looks like, since it’s so hard to put into words. It’s really the first film I ever wanted to make, and I’m going to edit it myself. It’s my first project where I am editing by myself. I’m so excited for it.
Day 4 started out marvelous, went to an all women’s spa and gym where I recieved a hot stone massage, facial and sauna. From there I did a workout and had a Kale Smoothie for lunch. I felt so relaxed I thought to myself that I should just have an entire day of spa. I haven’t done my Tantra practice since I got pregnant, so it was the perfect opportunity. After a shower, I crawled up to my love loft, where I set the intention to use pleasure as a guide to inner peace. The very first Tantra training I ever took was in Ipsalu Tantra Kriya Yoga, where I learned a daily practice based on a formula of Activate the body, Still the Mind, Arouse Sexual Energy, Transmute, and then Play in the heart space. For those of you unfamiliar with Tantra there is plenty of information out there, my practice has been a spirutal path, as well as something that I have used to enhance my intimate life throught greater connection and intimacy with my partners. So, I proceeded through my Tantra practice. I even invented some new techniques and after two different orgasms I was in bliss. Too bad that just minutes later when I went to film my Flip cam FLIPPED and I had filmus interuptus! Had to run to the store to get a new camera (the Kodak Zi8). I felt like all the relaxation of the morning flew out with my flip cam.
Today I received a full body massage, after which I locked the door to my office, put on one a song I find particularly sexy (Massive Attack’s Angel) and the proceed to touch myself to the beats of the music. This provided me with slow and deep touch to my g-spot and faster more indirect touch to my clitoris. It produced a fast and powerful orgasm before the song even finished! Music Driven Solo Sex worked for me today!