I’m really aware of my hormonal cycles lately. I must be all the hormone research I am doing for the RSVP (Reclaiming Sexual Vitality Postpartum) course that I am writing. I noticed today that something lifted. I am guessing that my body is out of the high progesterone phase and is moving into more of an estrogen phase. See, progesterone inhibits your sex drive and can make you feel fat and depressed, but estrogen turns on your receptive sexuality-your come-hither sensuality. I’m feeling very sexy today. I’ve been taking better care of myself too, which I also think is playing into me feeling so good. I started a new workout program to strengthen my abdominals and pelvic floor. I drank a lot of water today. I’ve also been running in the evenings. I think that exercising my body, really, really helps to lift my mood. Exercise does help raise DHEA levels, which is the mother of your sex hormones and helped you to have increased energy. I also have noticed that my partners are touching me a whole lot more, which is helping me feel more nurtured. I took a long hot steam shower today. While there I used a new soap, which has an exfoliant in it. I scrubbed ever surface of my skin and indulged in deep breathing while there. I included taking time to wash my genital area and my pubic hair. After the shower I massaged my skin with rose oil, then I laid around for a few minutes indulging in the relaxation. Did I feel good? You bet! Before going to sleep I did some clitoral stimulation, but drifted off into slumber land.Share on Facebook
Today was A Relaxed Day. I Read a book, took a hike, had a soak in the bath and had 12 minutes to spare for some genital stimulation. I had read recently that vaginal stretching helps to produce certain feel good hormones. So, I decided to give the theory a try. I started with some stretches to my outer labia and then moved in. I did long slow stretches with some deep breathing. I must say that I did feel quite blissful as I drifted into a tiny sleep, before waking up and moving into full clitoral stimulation with a lovely orgasm.Share on Facebook
Oh, I love my clitoral orgasms. I’m feeling better overall and taking more time in the day to stop and do something that pleasures me. I’ve been writing a lot these days, from blogs, to my new book and oral course. It’s nice to stop and take breaks, to stretch and think about loving myself. It’s also nice to have those clitoral orgasm. Took some time to have a few before drifting off to sleep. Something has changed and I am now able to have orgasms before sleep. YAY!!!!! I can’t tell you how glad I am to have that back. Maybe it was pushing through and going into the pattern that did it. Maybe something has shifted hormonally. Whatever the case I am glad to be able to self-pleasure before sleep and have an orgasm. Why not have an orgasm before bed and another first thing in the morning?Share on Facebook
I woke up in the middle of the night touching myself. I must have been dreaming something juicy. I took the time to go up to the loft and stimulate my clitoris until I had a lovely orgasm and crawled back into bed and drifted back to dreams. I woke up feeling very committed to my new challenge of really loving and nurturing myself.
My assistant filled my office with fresh flowers from my garden. I forgot how much I love fresh flowers. Our roses are so beautiful and fragrant right now. My office smells like a fresh flower garden and that feeds me, it brings me tons of pleasure and I am taking the time to savor the scents and the visual beauty of these arrangements. I also decided to take stretch breaks throughout the day. I did a little yoga, took some deep breaths and as I made my way back to the office I took the time to feel how amazing I am and suddenly I notice the breeze on my skin and the warmth of the sun on my face and I felt amazing. Sometimes the sun on my skin along with a cool breeze sends shivers all over my body. It didn’t take much, and I felt fed, and ready to dive into work. Just a few moment of noticing and a little self care make the day a magnificent one.Share on Facebook
Still feeling aroused from my evening session with my partner, I woke up wanting more orgasms. I went into the pattern, had my clitoral orgasm and started the day. I really wanted to get to the gym for a Core Fusion class, but I couldn’t get out the door. The baby was crying, I couldn’t find my contacts…I eventually did get to the gym, but I was in a rather sour mood.
My partner recently brought up the fact to me that I really neglect myself. I started to see all the areas of my life where this is true. I’m a new mom, I run a very full time sex education company, I produce videos, I write blogs, I appear in the media, and I have two partners. Life is very full. I don’t really see it as neglect of myself, it’s more like I’m just no that into self-preservation. But I can see his point. I need to take more care of myself and that is what this 101 Days of Pleasure project is about, loving myself, taking time for myself. But it turns into work in some way. I have to write my blog, film a video, upload the posts, edit etc. Sometimes it turns from self-pleasure into an obligation. In order to care for myself more I will be doing less video posting (and since my camera is gone) and more writing for the time being. There are some basic things I’m just not good at since I had my baby, like remembering to drink water, to take deep breaths, to brush my teeth and hair. I feel lucky if I get more than one shower in a week.
Okay, I only have 21 more days of this challenge. If there is any time to do this, it’s now. First step- Eat a Healthy Lunch! Next make a list of all the ways in which I neglect myself. That way I can see what is really going on….So I made the list, and it’s pretty depressing. The biggest area that I neglect myself is my body, the next is financially. These are the two things I will be working on for the next 21 days. Feeding my body and my state of abundance. No more of this neglect stuff. I also made a list of what feeds me, and I’m going to do lots more of that. Over the next 21 days, more self-care, more dance, more attention to my finances, more trips to the gym, eating great food and definitely more deep breaths! Orgasms are easy, but truly and deeply loving myself enough to make my body a priority is another challenge. I’m up for it.Share on Facebook
Something must be in the air this week. My partner was so into me all day, he kept saying how sexy I was and kissing me. That always gets my libido going. I think feeling sexy is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs. Our desire for each other was building all day, so once the baby was asleep, I initiated a little love action in the loft. Oh, my GOD! I remember sex feeling this good, but it hasn’t in awhile. I chalk it up to hormones. I can feel that something has shifted. I’m blaming it all on Progesterone and Prolactin. I think I’m making less milk, so my hormones are regulating and my genitals are getting more sensitive. See, progesterone can decrease your genital sensitivity. Penetration felt absolutely exquisite. I felt like the session was all about my pleasure and I notice a little guilt, but I couldn’t help dive deeper into the pleasure. I checked in with my partner and he seemed to be enjoying it just as much, so I kept diving, getting lost in the sensation. I used my hand to stimulate my clitoris. It was extremely engorged, I hadn’t felt it this big since the second trimester of my pregnancy (increased blood volume causes the genitals to swell). We played and I added my self-stimulation. For some reason I could give myself an orgasm. So he used a combination of his hands and his mouth (something he learned from my Oral Sex for Couples Series to get me there. As much as I love sex with myself, I really like sex with partner and myself combined!Share on Facebook
I’m still feeling like things just aren’t back to normal since having my office broken into. So, I gave myself a great butt massage before going to sleep. Lying on my stomach, I started with just light stroking over the back of my thighs and buttocks. The light strokes felt wonderful and gave me goose bumps. I then tried some deeper kneading, pressing into my glutes and upper back thighs. I also added some stretching, squeezing my butt cheeks together and then spreading them apart again. Stretching indirectly stimulated my anus. This massage was nice and relaxing before drifting off to sleep, my hand on it’s usual position over my vulva.
I really encourage you to try some butt massage for relaxation and pleasure. It can be a wonderful prelude to anal sex with yourself or anal sex with a partner. Try light strokes with your finger tips and deeper kneading. You can include stimulation directly to your anus as well, or indirectly stimulate your anus by stretching your butt cheeks.Share on Facebook
Jamye Waxman gave me permission to just love the my pattern. So in all the stress of life this week I went for it. I’ve self-pleasured more than any other time during this project, sometimes 3-5 times a day- just going into my pattern, enjoying the release and moving on with whatever I need to do. I’ve even started sleeping at night, even though I’m having orgasms. I feel like something has shift on a bio-chemical level, meaning that maybe my hormones are returning to their pre-pregnancy state. My milk has gone way down because my son is only feeding at night these days and my stress level has been through the roof. I’m lucky I can have so many orgasms so quickly and I’m learning to celebrate it, even if I use the same pattern to get there. I learned when I was a bodyworker that sometimes you have to go into the pattern in order for the pattern to release. Well, I’m going in deep on this one. We’ll see what happens on the other side.Share on Facebook
I came down my office and found that it had been broken into and my new camera had been stolen. So here I am cameraless (I don’t think that’s a word). I had new videos all recorded and ready to upload, but now they are gone forever. Two cameras gone! After having the police here and all the craziness of the day I didn’t really feel much like self pleasuring, even though I had originally planned to dedicate the day to a long indulgent session with the Ella. Instead I went into my old pattern, rubbing my clitoris for a few minutes until I had an orgasm, it felt emotional after the days end, but of course I couldn’t sleep.
Tomorrow I will have a guest blogger, Miss Jamye Waxman. I’m going to ask her to help me out with this one. I notice that I still have a bit of sexual guilt around pleasure for pleasure’s sake. Why isn’t it okay just to “get off”, why do I still feed the need to always have some kind of personal practice, ritual or spiritual intention around touching myself? Why isn’t my pattern okay? I have great orgasms that way. I guess I can answer my own question here. It isn’t okay to do all the time because it causes me knee problems, and it can just turn into an unconscious habit for me. We’ll see what advice Jamye has to share…Share on Facebook
No, Ella isn’t another woman, it’s a great pleasure object by Lelo. I’ll get to her, but want to start at the beginning. I really wanted to set aside time for myself today. I’ve been feeling like I’m not getting enough exercise. Before I gave birth I danced 5 days a week, and I went to the gym every single day. Now I’m lucky if I dance once every few months and get to the gym once a week. So as part of this project I am making a gym schedule, no more excuses. And I am going to start dancing at least twice a month. How’s that! I started the day with an hour at the gym, then had a great lunch followed by a steam sauna that included a hot shower and lavender bath salt scrub. My skin feels so soft and smells amazing. While in the steam sauna I was joined by Ella, a rose colored dildo that is just up my alley. The water from the shower was making things a little dry, so I turned it off and just played in the heat of the steam. I loved that this toy can be used on either end, and it is silky smooth. I definitely want to dedicate and entire session to her. I feel like something has opened up for me in regards to ejaculation lately and it has been flowing very easily. The Ella was great for g-spot and u-spot stimulation. I had to try it mostly standing up, so I’m anxious to try it lying down. I think tomorrow I’ll give her another whirl!Share on Facebook