Tag Archives: Pattern

Day 82- Lovely Patterns

Oh, I love my clitoral orgasms.  I’m feeling better overall and taking more time in the day to stop and do something that pleasures me.  I’ve been writing a lot these days, from blogs, to my new book and oral course.  It’s nice to stop and take breaks, to stretch and think about loving myself.  It’s also nice to have those clitoral orgasm.  Took some time to have a few before drifting off to sleep.  Something has changed and I am now able to have orgasms before sleep. YAY!!!!!  I can’t tell you how glad I am to have that back.  Maybe it was pushing through and going into the pattern that did it.  Maybe something has shifted hormonally.  Whatever the case I am glad to be able to self-pleasure before sleep and have an orgasm.  Why not have an orgasm before bed and another first thing in the morning?

Day 74-76- Pattern Indulgence

Jamye Waxman gave me permission to just love the my pattern.  So in all the stress of life this week I went for it.  I’ve self-pleasured more than any other time during this project, sometimes 3-5 times a day- just going into my pattern, enjoying the release and moving on with whatever I need to do.  I’ve even started sleeping at night, even though I’m having orgasms.  I feel like something has shift on a bio-chemical level, meaning that maybe my hormones are returning to their pre-pregnancy state.  My milk has gone way down because my son is only feeding at night these days and my stress level has been through the roof.  I’m lucky I can have so many orgasms so quickly and I’m learning to celebrate it, even if I use the same pattern to get there.  I learned when I was a bodyworker that sometimes you have to go into the pattern in order for the pattern to release.  Well, I’m going in deep on this one. We’ll see what happens on the other side.

Day 72- Office Broken Into-Camera Stolen

I came down my office and found that it had been broken into and my new camera had been stolen.  So here I am cameraless (I don’t think that’s a word).   I had new videos all recorded and ready to upload, but now they are gone forever.  Two cameras gone!  After having the police here and all the craziness of the day I didn’t really feel much like self pleasuring, even though I had originally planned to dedicate the day to a long indulgent session with the Ella.  Instead I went into my old pattern, rubbing my clitoris for a few minutes until I had an orgasm, it felt emotional after the days end, but of course I couldn’t sleep.

Tomorrow I will have a guest blogger, Miss Jamye Waxman.  I’m going to ask her to help me out with this one.  I notice that I still have a bit of sexual guilt around pleasure for pleasure’s sake.  Why isn’t it okay just to “get off”, why do I still feed the need to always have some kind of personal practice, ritual or spiritual intention around touching myself?  Why isn’t my pattern okay?  I have great orgasms that way.  I guess I can answer my own question here.  It isn’t okay to do all the time because it causes me knee problems, and it can just turn into an unconscious habit for me.  We’ll see what advice Jamye has to share…

Days 20-22- Patterns of Self Love

As things got crazier in Scotland with my teaching schedule it got harder to find time to languish in the pleasure, but hey, sometimes quickies can be great!  So on Day 20 I went into my pattern, to try to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, but it did the opposite and energized me.  Since it was my pattern I thought I’d try to get another session in before midnight, but the day was packed and I was at a high class dinner so I snuck off to the bathroom just a few minutes before that golden hour to do a little U-spot stimulation.  Day 21- I was on an airplane headed back to the states, but I gained 8 hours!  So that evening before sleep, I warmed my self up with some self stimulation before my partner came in and we had an awesome, and I mean awesome time making love.  Today is Day 22, and I am catching up on my video blog since I was having technical difficulties in Scotland.  Today I went into my pattern again, but didn’t have an orgasm, before I drifted off into an afternoon nap.  This week I am committing to vaginal exploration since I have been in my pattern a lot lately.  We’ll see what I discover!