Tag Archives: clitoral orgasm

Day 94-Getting My Sexy On

First of all I started the day off with a great clitoral orgasm, did some work and then headed off to my first Strip Tease and Pole Dancing class.  I just signed up to 8 weeks of getting my sexy on.    It’s part of this commitment to myself to do things that feed me, my soul and my sexy.  So, after 2 hours of LA traffic, I finally arrived at the studio.  I was very surprised.  It was dimly lit, you could barely see, three poles stood in the room.  The class was very small, only 6 women total.  We started with floor work, stretching, arching, moving ever so slowly.   I especially liked lying on my stomach, slinking back with my butt in the air, and touching my curves.  You are very encouraged to touch your curves and your “center” as they call it.  I was very shocked that we were claiming our “centers” with touch.  The whole 2 hour class could be construed as a little self pleasure practice in public, all this self touch, feeling sexy.  I one pole trick and a very sexy little routine.  IT was HOT!  I felt HOT and that was most important.

I am very much looking forward to continuing this journey of sensual self discovery through these classes.  Women, i highly, highly recommend checking out Sheila Kelly’s SFACTOR, it’s not just about stripping or pole dancing, it’s a personal journey.  It’s about female empowerment and owning your erotic self!  I love it!

Day 92- Kegelcisor and Phone Sex

I was on Playboy Radio almost a month ago when one of the callers gave me a homework assignment to try phone sex.  I came home and did some research and found a number on Betty Dodson’s site1800 EROTICA.  I went into the session feeling like I wouldn’t really be able to get into it and that it would ultimately turn out to be cheesy and dumb.  I was wrong.

Here’s my experience…

I was nervous, and I had been putting this assignment off, so I was somewhat pushing myself through resistance to try this.  Today, is the day! First, I picked out a toy to play with.  I got my new favorite lubeAloe Cadabra, and a Kegelcisor.  I read the instructions on the Kegelcisor, lubed up and dialed the number for the phone sex line.  First they wanted to verify my age, I had to answer a few questions to an automatic service.  It was discreet and non-invasive.  Plus, free I might add.  Then they asked if I was a man or a woman and if I was looking for a man or a woman.  Next, I was asked to make a personal message.  So, I recorded a short blurb about play and experimentation.  Then I was given a number of messages to listen to from men.  I was surprised that some of them were really sweet, some were very erotic, and some I knew right away that I wasn’t interested in.  Almost instantly I started getting private messages and invites for connection.  Some of the private messages were very arousing.  I’m putting it all out there, so I have to admit that the more arousing ones were men describing what they were doing or what they wanted to do.  I was less turned on by messages about age, hair color, location, weight or whatever.  While I listened to the messages I started in with clitoral stimulation and playing with the Kegelcisor.  I loved the weight of the Kegelcisor and the idea that I was working my pelvic floor muscles.  I finally did choose someone to connect with.  It was a message about teaching me how this all worked.  Ultimately the sex educator in me won out.  I wanted to learn so that I could teach!  Unfortunately, the caller was no longer on the line, so I went back to listening to the sea of erotic voices out there.  All of them seemed to want anonymous erotic connection.   I rode the sea of male voices on the line, that was pretty much enough for me.  Some of their messages I played over and over.  I had three orgasms that rolled into each other, first two vaginal orgasm and then a deep clitoral orgasm.  And right when a voice said “I would really like to be there when you have an orgasm”.  Well, he got his wish.

I hung up the phone and kept playing with the Kegelcisor.  I did about 5 minutes of specific exercises for my pelvic floor muscles.  It felt great post orgasm, like a deep massage after an intense workout.

I would actually recommend this.  It was fun, it was exciting and new, and I felt in control of who I wanted to talk to.  And it was pleasurable!  The thought did cross my mind that some people might consider phone sex cheating.  I’m in an open relationship so it isn’t an issue for me.  However, I could see how some people might get triggered by it.  On another note, phone sex is safe sex.  You don’t have to worry about STD’s, STI’s or emotional entanglements.

Day 88-Cervical Massage and Exploration

I’m feeling very emotional as I write this.  I just finished a long session of cervical massage and exploration.  I want to cry.  I had great pleasure, don’t get me wrong.  My tears are about the changes in my body.  Having a baby seems to change everything.  Before I got pregnant I was very close with my vulva, vagina and cervix.  I remember back to the first time I ever saw my cervix.  I was the youngest in a group of women from age 29-over 70.  We were learning how to do self examinations.  That day was a day that changed my life forever.  I got to see my own cervix and my os (the opening to the cervix) which was a tiny little round hole, so beautiful and perfect.  At the moment I was looking I started my menstrual cycle and it seems like and utter miracle happening before my eyes.  I kept my speculum that was given to me that day and have checked in on my os from time to time.

Today was the first time looking at my cervix since giving birth.  It is no longer a tiny little hole, now it is a big slit, almost looks like a vagina inside my vagina, only lying sideways.  I am morning the fact that my body has changed.  Giving birth was amazing and I love my baby, but sometimes I want everything to go back.  At the moment that I was looking I wasn’t mourning, just exploring, it’s just now that I am feeling these feelings.  The shift from maiden to mother has not been easy, the hardest part being all of the changes in my body.  I am sure that I will continue to fall in love with the “new” me, but at this moment I am sad, and that is okay.

I prepared for the session with my speculum, a mirror, so lube, and a flashlight.  After putting in my speculum and visually exploring my cervix, I decided to do some cervical massage.  So I removed the speculum and I massaged around my cervix with one finger tip, going around and around in circles.  My cervix felt softer than I remembered it.  Then I used two fingers to massage circles around my cervix, then directly on it.  I could put my finger tip slightly into the os, which felt pretty good.  This all felt nice and I could feel my cervix respond.  I wanted to feel “uterine flight” (when the cervix moves up and back, so that you can get deeper penetration) and “uterine pulsing” (the cervix moves up and down at the moment of orgasm.   I kept my index finger on top of my cervix and my middle finger on the bottom.  Then with my other hand I gave myself clitoral stimulation.  Trying to keep my fingers on my cervix was hard.  As I got more aroused it was harder and harder to reach which tells me that “uterine flight” was happening.  I could actually feel it with my fingers.  But it was difficult for me to have an orgasm with my fingers trying to reach my cervix, so I turned to G-spot and A-spot stimulation.  This got me highly aroused and I ended up having a number of vaginal orgasms, upon which I would go deep to my cervix so that I could feel it’s movement.  I really wanted to feel the different between the vaginal orgasm and clitoral orgasm, so I kept working my clitoris with my fingers deep on my cervix.  At the moment of clitoral orgasm I didn’t feel the same bobbing of the cervix as I did with vaginal orgasm.  This is interesting to note.  Directly after all these orgasms I wanted to look at my cervix again.  I was impressed with how healthy and pink it looked.  It also seems swollen with arousal, and it looked a little more open when I checked post orgasm.  I hoped up quickly and came down from the loft, a little too quickly, my legs were shaking and I was feeling really high from all of the orgasms.  It wasn’t until about 15 minutes later that I got hit with emotion, which I don’t see as a bad thing, I am allowing the sadness to flow as I mourn my maiden body and come to terms with loving myself and my body as a mother.


I’m really aware of my hormonal cycles lately.  I must be all the hormone research I am doing for the RSVP (Reclaiming Sexual Vitality Postpartum) course that I am writing.  I noticed today that something lifted.  I am guessing that my body is out of the high progesterone phase and is moving into more of an estrogen phase.  See, progesterone inhibits your sex drive and can make you feel fat and depressed, but estrogen turns on your receptive sexuality-your come-hither sensuality.  I’m feeling very sexy today.  I’ve been taking better care of myself too, which I also think is playing into me feeling so good.  I started a new workout program to strengthen my abdominals and pelvic floor.  I drank a lot of water today.  I’ve also been running in the evenings.  I think that exercising my body, really, really helps to lift my mood.  Exercise does help raise DHEA levels, which is the mother of your sex hormones and helped you to have increased energy.  I also have noticed that my partners are touching me a whole lot more, which is helping me feel more nurtured.  I took a long hot steam shower today.  While there I used a new soap, which has an exfoliant in it.  I scrubbed ever surface of my skin and indulged in deep breathing while there.  I included taking time to wash my genital area and my pubic hair.  After the shower I massaged my skin with rose oil, then I laid around for a few minutes indulging in the relaxation.  Did I feel good?  You bet!  Before going to sleep I did some clitoral stimulation, but drifted off into slumber land.

Day 83- Vaginal Stretching

Today was A Relaxed Day.  I Read a book, took a hike, had a soak in the bath and had 12 minutes to spare for some genital stimulation.  I had read recently that vaginal stretching helps to produce certain feel good hormones.  So, I decided to give the theory a try.  I started with some stretches to my outer labia and then moved in.  I did long slow stretches with some deep breathing.  I must say that I did feel quite blissful as I drifted into a tiny sleep, before waking up and moving into full clitoral stimulation with a lovely orgasm.

Day 82- Lovely Patterns

Oh, I love my clitoral orgasms.  I’m feeling better overall and taking more time in the day to stop and do something that pleasures me.  I’ve been writing a lot these days, from blogs, to my new book and oral course.  It’s nice to stop and take breaks, to stretch and think about loving myself.  It’s also nice to have those clitoral orgasm.  Took some time to have a few before drifting off to sleep.  Something has changed and I am now able to have orgasms before sleep. YAY!!!!!  I can’t tell you how glad I am to have that back.  Maybe it was pushing through and going into the pattern that did it.  Maybe something has shifted hormonally.  Whatever the case I am glad to be able to self-pleasure before sleep and have an orgasm.  Why not have an orgasm before bed and another first thing in the morning?

Day 81- Stretching, Feeling, Breathing, Masturbating

I woke up in the middle of the night touching myself.  I must have been dreaming something juicy.  I took the time to go up to the loft and stimulate my clitoris until I had a lovely orgasm and crawled back into bed and drifted back to dreams.  I woke up feeling very committed to my new challenge of really loving and nurturing myself.

My assistant filled my office with fresh flowers from my garden.  I forgot how much I love fresh flowers.  Our roses are so beautiful and fragrant right now.  My office smells like a fresh flower garden and that feeds me, it brings me tons of pleasure and I am taking the time to savor the scents and the visual beauty of these arrangements.  I also decided to take stretch breaks throughout the day.  I did a little yoga, took some deep breaths and as I made my way back to the office I took the time to feel how amazing I am and suddenly I notice the breeze on my skin and the warmth of the sun on my face and I felt amazing.  Sometimes the sun on my skin along with a cool breeze sends shivers all over my body.  It didn’t take much, and I felt fed, and ready to dive into work.  Just a few moment of noticing and a little self care make the day a magnificent one.

Day 80- Morning Pattern and Committing to Self Love

Still feeling aroused from my evening session with my partner, I woke up wanting more               orgasms.  I went into the pattern, had my clitoral orgasm and started the day.  I really   wanted  to get to the gym for a Core Fusion class, but I couldn’t get out the door.  The baby was crying, I couldn’t find my contacts…I eventually did get to the gym, but I was in a rather sour mood.

My partner recently brought up the fact to me that I really neglect myself.  I started to see all the areas of my life where this is true.  I’m a new mom, I run a very full time sex education company, I produce videos, I write blogs, I appear in the media, and I have two partners.  Life is very full.  I don’t really see it as neglect of myself, it’s more like I’m just no that into self-preservation.  But I can see his point.  I need to take more care of myself and that is what this 101 Days of Pleasure project is about, loving myself, taking time for myself.  But it turns into work in some way.  I have to write my blog, film a video, upload the posts, edit etc.  Sometimes it turns from self-pleasure into an obligation.  In order to care for myself more I will be doing less video posting (and since my camera is gone) and more writing for the time being.  There are some basic things I’m just not good at since I had my baby, like remembering to drink water, to take deep breaths, to brush my teeth and hair.  I feel lucky if I get more than one shower in a week.

Okay, I only have 21 more days of this challenge.  If there is any time to do this, it’s now.  First step- Eat a Healthy Lunch! Next make a list of all the ways in which I neglect myself.  That way I can see what is really going on….So I made the list, and it’s pretty depressing.  The biggest area that I neglect myself is my body, the next is financially.  These are the two things I will be working on for the next 21 days.  Feeding my body and my state of abundance.  No more of this neglect stuff.  I also made a list of what feeds me, and I’m going to do lots more of that.  Over the next 21 days, more self-care, more dance, more attention to my finances, more trips to the gym, eating great food and definitely more deep breaths!  Orgasms are easy, but truly and deeply loving myself enough to make my body a priority is another challenge.  I’m up for it.

Day 74-76- Pattern Indulgence

Jamye Waxman gave me permission to just love the my pattern.  So in all the stress of life this week I went for it.  I’ve self-pleasured more than any other time during this project, sometimes 3-5 times a day- just going into my pattern, enjoying the release and moving on with whatever I need to do.  I’ve even started sleeping at night, even though I’m having orgasms.  I feel like something has shift on a bio-chemical level, meaning that maybe my hormones are returning to their pre-pregnancy state.  My milk has gone way down because my son is only feeding at night these days and my stress level has been through the roof.  I’m lucky I can have so many orgasms so quickly and I’m learning to celebrate it, even if I use the same pattern to get there.  I learned when I was a bodyworker that sometimes you have to go into the pattern in order for the pattern to release.  Well, I’m going in deep on this one. We’ll see what happens on the other side.

Day 72- Office Broken Into-Camera Stolen

I came down my office and found that it had been broken into and my new camera had been stolen.  So here I am cameraless (I don’t think that’s a word).   I had new videos all recorded and ready to upload, but now they are gone forever.  Two cameras gone!  After having the police here and all the craziness of the day I didn’t really feel much like self pleasuring, even though I had originally planned to dedicate the day to a long indulgent session with the Ella.  Instead I went into my old pattern, rubbing my clitoris for a few minutes until I had an orgasm, it felt emotional after the days end, but of course I couldn’t sleep.

Tomorrow I will have a guest blogger, Miss Jamye Waxman.  I’m going to ask her to help me out with this one.  I notice that I still have a bit of sexual guilt around pleasure for pleasure’s sake.  Why isn’t it okay just to “get off”, why do I still feed the need to always have some kind of personal practice, ritual or spiritual intention around touching myself?  Why isn’t my pattern okay?  I have great orgasms that way.  I guess I can answer my own question here.  It isn’t okay to do all the time because it causes me knee problems, and it can just turn into an unconscious habit for me.  We’ll see what advice Jamye has to share…