Tag Archives: Vaginal Orgasm

Day 92- Kegelcisor and Phone Sex

I was on Playboy Radio almost a month ago when one of the callers gave me a homework assignment to try phone sex.  I came home and did some research and found a number on Betty Dodson’s site1800 EROTICA.  I went into the session feeling like I wouldn’t really be able to get into it and that it would ultimately turn out to be cheesy and dumb.  I was wrong.

Here’s my experience…

I was nervous, and I had been putting this assignment off, so I was somewhat pushing myself through resistance to try this.  Today, is the day! First, I picked out a toy to play with.  I got my new favorite lubeAloe Cadabra, and a Kegelcisor.  I read the instructions on the Kegelcisor, lubed up and dialed the number for the phone sex line.  First they wanted to verify my age, I had to answer a few questions to an automatic service.  It was discreet and non-invasive.  Plus, free I might add.  Then they asked if I was a man or a woman and if I was looking for a man or a woman.  Next, I was asked to make a personal message.  So, I recorded a short blurb about play and experimentation.  Then I was given a number of messages to listen to from men.  I was surprised that some of them were really sweet, some were very erotic, and some I knew right away that I wasn’t interested in.  Almost instantly I started getting private messages and invites for connection.  Some of the private messages were very arousing.  I’m putting it all out there, so I have to admit that the more arousing ones were men describing what they were doing or what they wanted to do.  I was less turned on by messages about age, hair color, location, weight or whatever.  While I listened to the messages I started in with clitoral stimulation and playing with the Kegelcisor.  I loved the weight of the Kegelcisor and the idea that I was working my pelvic floor muscles.  I finally did choose someone to connect with.  It was a message about teaching me how this all worked.  Ultimately the sex educator in me won out.  I wanted to learn so that I could teach!  Unfortunately, the caller was no longer on the line, so I went back to listening to the sea of erotic voices out there.  All of them seemed to want anonymous erotic connection.   I rode the sea of male voices on the line, that was pretty much enough for me.  Some of their messages I played over and over.  I had three orgasms that rolled into each other, first two vaginal orgasm and then a deep clitoral orgasm.  And right when a voice said “I would really like to be there when you have an orgasm”.  Well, he got his wish.

I hung up the phone and kept playing with the Kegelcisor.  I did about 5 minutes of specific exercises for my pelvic floor muscles.  It felt great post orgasm, like a deep massage after an intense workout.

I would actually recommend this.  It was fun, it was exciting and new, and I felt in control of who I wanted to talk to.  And it was pleasurable!  The thought did cross my mind that some people might consider phone sex cheating.  I’m in an open relationship so it isn’t an issue for me.  However, I could see how some people might get triggered by it.  On another note, phone sex is safe sex.  You don’t have to worry about STD’s, STI’s or emotional entanglements.

Day 88-Cervical Massage and Exploration

I’m feeling very emotional as I write this.  I just finished a long session of cervical massage and exploration.  I want to cry.  I had great pleasure, don’t get me wrong.  My tears are about the changes in my body.  Having a baby seems to change everything.  Before I got pregnant I was very close with my vulva, vagina and cervix.  I remember back to the first time I ever saw my cervix.  I was the youngest in a group of women from age 29-over 70.  We were learning how to do self examinations.  That day was a day that changed my life forever.  I got to see my own cervix and my os (the opening to the cervix) which was a tiny little round hole, so beautiful and perfect.  At the moment I was looking I started my menstrual cycle and it seems like and utter miracle happening before my eyes.  I kept my speculum that was given to me that day and have checked in on my os from time to time.

Today was the first time looking at my cervix since giving birth.  It is no longer a tiny little hole, now it is a big slit, almost looks like a vagina inside my vagina, only lying sideways.  I am morning the fact that my body has changed.  Giving birth was amazing and I love my baby, but sometimes I want everything to go back.  At the moment that I was looking I wasn’t mourning, just exploring, it’s just now that I am feeling these feelings.  The shift from maiden to mother has not been easy, the hardest part being all of the changes in my body.  I am sure that I will continue to fall in love with the “new” me, but at this moment I am sad, and that is okay.

I prepared for the session with my speculum, a mirror, so lube, and a flashlight.  After putting in my speculum and visually exploring my cervix, I decided to do some cervical massage.  So I removed the speculum and I massaged around my cervix with one finger tip, going around and around in circles.  My cervix felt softer than I remembered it.  Then I used two fingers to massage circles around my cervix, then directly on it.  I could put my finger tip slightly into the os, which felt pretty good.  This all felt nice and I could feel my cervix respond.  I wanted to feel “uterine flight” (when the cervix moves up and back, so that you can get deeper penetration) and “uterine pulsing” (the cervix moves up and down at the moment of orgasm.   I kept my index finger on top of my cervix and my middle finger on the bottom.  Then with my other hand I gave myself clitoral stimulation.  Trying to keep my fingers on my cervix was hard.  As I got more aroused it was harder and harder to reach which tells me that “uterine flight” was happening.  I could actually feel it with my fingers.  But it was difficult for me to have an orgasm with my fingers trying to reach my cervix, so I turned to G-spot and A-spot stimulation.  This got me highly aroused and I ended up having a number of vaginal orgasms, upon which I would go deep to my cervix so that I could feel it’s movement.  I really wanted to feel the different between the vaginal orgasm and clitoral orgasm, so I kept working my clitoris with my fingers deep on my cervix.  At the moment of clitoral orgasm I didn’t feel the same bobbing of the cervix as I did with vaginal orgasm.  This is interesting to note.  Directly after all these orgasms I wanted to look at my cervix again.  I was impressed with how healthy and pink it looked.  It also seems swollen with arousal, and it looked a little more open when I checked post orgasm.  I hoped up quickly and came down from the loft, a little too quickly, my legs were shaking and I was feeling really high from all of the orgasms.  It wasn’t until about 15 minutes later that I got hit with emotion, which I don’t see as a bad thing, I am allowing the sadness to flow as I mourn my maiden body and come to terms with loving myself and my body as a mother.

Day 49- Man on Top

This morning my partner surprised me with a spontaneous lovemaking session.  It was so awesome.  I had a number of vaginal orgasms during our session, but mostly it was just wonderful to connect with him.  After he had his orgasm I asked him to stay on top of me while I did self clitoral stimulation.  It was fun to have his presence there and I loved the feeling of his weight on my body.

I recommend having your partner join you for self pleasure sessions every now and then.  For one it can be great for them to see how you like to be stimulated. Two it can be an erotic turn on for both of you.  And three it’s a nice addition to lovemaking, especially if your partner is prone to coming quickly and you still want to have an orgasm (not that, that is my case).  There’s nothing wrong with lending a hand every now and then.

Day 40- Part Two- Exploring Vaginal Orgasms

As a continuation of a glorious day (see part one for the begining), I decided to explore Vaginal Pleasure.  This was inspired by a question I recieved from a woman asking about how to cultivate vaginal orgasms.  I’m working on my newest book with Ellen Heed and we were talking about the pelvic nerve and it’s connection to vaginal orgasms.  See, with deep penetration after lots of arousal, the pelvic nerve is stimulated which is related to downregulation of your nervous system.  Relaxation is also vital to extended vaginal orgasms.  But so is the excitement of sexual arousal.  That’s why clitoral stimulation is also important.  I talk a lot about excitement and enjoyment, tenstion and relaxation, when both are present you are more likely to experience clitoral and vaginal orgasms.

In choosing my session today I went for a larger Nobesssence Pleasure Object.  Large sex toys intimidate me, therefore, I usually stay away from them.  I am glad I got over my fear and gave this beautiful piece of wood a try.  I am always very impressed at the design.  These toys work perfect for my body.  I started with stimulation to my clit with the end of the toy, then moved to teasing at the entrance of my vagina.  I slowly worked my way in, first with the tip and eventually moving to deep penetration.  I used my other hand to stimulate my clitoris while usinge the toy for repeated penetration.  I worked with a