Tag Archives: Clitoral Stimulation

Day 98: A 5-Toy Anal Exploration!

WHEW!  This was quite the session, over and hour of play with 5 different sex toys.  My intention was to explore some anal play.  I have this great toy and I have no idea what it is called.  I got it from the Adult Novelties Expo in 2008.  It’s a steal piece, shaped like a curvy number seven with a large ball at the top and a small ball at the bottom (you can see it in the video).  The large end goes inside your anus and the small part inside of your vagina.  It’s curved in a such a ways that you get really intense stimulation at the roof of your vagina, on or near your g-spot area.  I played with this toy a lot the fall of 2008, and then forgot about it.  It’s been beckoning me from the love loft.

I have to back up a bit.  I started the session knowing that i was going to go into anal play, so I did a bit of prep, making sure I had some lubricant, my anal toys, and that I had cleaned the area properly.  Sometimes I do an enema, but today I felt some light cleaning was enough.  I went up to the love loft ready for a long and pleasurable session.  I started by building arousal with a new toy.  Kissa, by Eden Fantasys, is a glass vibrator with a great bumpy texture at its head.  I took Sheri Winston’s advice and played around all over before going to my clitoris.  Then I found a stroke that was really great.  I went up and down over my clit with the Kissa as opposed to side to side like I normally do when using my hands.  This felt good and I could have had a deep clitoral orgasm, but I wanted to do my anal play.

I stopped with the Kissa and did some external anal massage with my fingers to warm myself up before inserting anything.  I got out a mirror and took a look at my anus to see how things were going.  I noticed a bit of residual scar tissue that Ellen Heed and I must have missed when working to rid my pelvic floor of the painful scars from giving birth.  I made a note to get another session with Ellen specific to the anal scar.  When I felt that my anus was ready I inserted the seven shaped steal toy.  WOW!  I love the intense g-spot stimulation it gives me.  It happens anytime that I contract my pelvic floor with this toy inside of me. Then I added the Kissa back in.  I decided that I wasn’t going to use my pattern and instead was intending to have a deep orgasm with the glass vibrator.  It worked too!  I had a lovely intense orgasm.   Upon orgasm the Seven shaped toy was pushed out by my pelvic floor muscles.

Now that I was all warmed up I wanted to try some of the other anal toys I had never tried. I got out a beautiful glass piece that I got from Liberator a few years ago.  Its full of color and has a gorgeous rose bud at the base.  It felt great inside.  Now I thought about dual penetration.  I had the Kegelcisor handy so inserted that into my vagina.  It was a very full feeling with glass and steal inside of me.  I did that for awhile and then tried my fingers instead of the Kegelcisor.  It was cool to feel the glass toy pushing up into my vaginal canal and I could see how women get g-spot stimulation from anal penetration.  Then I went to my old faithful and started using my finger on my clitoris.  I had a very powerful and intensely pleasurable orgasm.

Okay, onto the next anal toy.  The Tantus Ryder, a silicon butt plug.  I wanted to feel the different between steal, glass and silicon.  Vaginally I know that I prefer the harder materials.  Would I feel the same when it came to anal stimulation.  The Tantus Ryder is bigger, and the soft material made it harder for me to insert it easily.  However, once inside it felt good.  I liked contracting around the softer material.  I returned to a little kiss and could feel the vibration internally.  I played with my clitoris with the Kissa again.  It was nice and pleasurable.  I wanted to go back to manual stimulation of my clitoris.  I very quickly had another orgasm, this one was lighter, but still intense.

I gave my pelvic floor a workout!  The session lasted over an hour and it was wonderful to take the time for myself.  I hopped in the shower after and relaxed in the steam.  A perfect ending to a lovely session of self-love.

Note: If anyone can help me figure out the name of the mystery anal/g-spot toy, I’ll send you a free DVD of your choice!

Day 95- Compersion Fantasy

Today was the official launch of my new Oral Sex series, so there was a lot to celebrate.  The new season of my Radio Show also started.  The topic was Lube.  It is always such a joy to talk openly about sexuality with other people.  And my Radio Show is like an hour of foreplay!  I love it.  After the show I went out for a celebration dinner, and I purchases a new camera (this is a little retail therapy!).  I hope to start posting regular video blogs as this journey comes to an end.  I’ve been self-pleasuring a lot these last few days, late at night, early in the morning, in the afternoon.  My main sexual partner being gone frees up a lot more time for self love.

Today my mood was high.  I felt great.  Accomplishment is a wonderful aphrodisiac for me.  I played with some fantasy tonight.  I was imagining my partner at Burningman having the most fantastic time, flirting with other women, making out,  getting his sexy on.  Imagining him having so much fun was a huge turn on.  Culturally, I think that most people would see this as odd.  But I don’t get jealous really.  Instead I experience something called Compersion, which is when you actually love it when your partner is loving or being loved by someone else.  When I know my partner is having a great time, even if it is without me, I feel really happy.  I love the idea of Compersion, it feels so much better than jealousy, which we have come to equate with love.  In my self-pleasure today I indulged in my turn-on through this state of seeing my partner erotically happy!  I eventually had a wonderful clitoral and g-spot combined orgasm as I floated off in a blissfull sleepy state.

Day 93- Dreams, Fairies, and Nipples

Dreams of juicy sex!  Woke up wanting to play…but had to wait.  My co-author Jon Hanauer and I were supposed to be on Playboy Radio today.  But it was cancelled due to the Hostess Tiffany Granath being sick. I hope she is feeling better.  Since I now had the day free I did a lot catch up writing, but took a break for my Self-Pleasure practice.  I climbed up into the love loft, where I plugged in a new Massage Wand.  It’s called the Fairy Wand.  I was also sent the attachment for internally stimulation but it was smelly.  I was hesitant to try it because I wasn’t sure about toxicity, it’s important not to put toxic stuff in our vaginas. (So I checked the site and the attachment it totally body safe- maybe I should have checked it out so that I could relax about it!) I didn’t get all that into it.  I was worried about the toxic smell and my wrists were really hurting from all of the writing I’ve been doing.  I spent more time massaging my wrists with the Fairy Wand.  Hey, this is self pleasure and if my genitals aren’t feeling it then why not go somewhere else on my body?  Massaging my wrists did bring me pleasure.

I also finally tried the pretty little nipple clamps that Eden Fantasys sent me.  I think because I am still breastfeeding I just wasn’t into it.  I was more interested in putting them on my clit. And at a later date I could see using them on my partner.  I gave up on clamps and the fairy wand and went to a wooden toy by Nobessesnce and with my own clitoral stimulation until I had a great orgasm.

Day 90- A Good Cry!

Releasing Emotion Can Be Pleasurable!

My mood only darkened since yesterday.  I have no idea what is up with me, except that my partner is about to go away to a festival called Burningman, and I am staying home.  It’s this continued mourning of my old life, my old body, my sense of loss of who I used to be.  I know that I’ve been holding a lot of emotion in, staying strong for everyone around me.  Why do we do that?  What is it that makes us think that not crying or falling apart is strong?  I think it takes strength to fall apart and let the emotions wash over us.  So, tonight I invited myself to just fall apart.  I got in the shower and started to lightly touch myself all over as the hot water poured down on my neck and shoulders.  I curled up in the bathtub and let the water rain down on me.  i tried some clitoral stimulation as I laid there, but my body seemed non-responsive.  Then the tears came.  Ah, what a pleasurable relief.  Sometimes tears are like orgasms coming out the eyes.  It felt good to let that go.  But I knew there was more.  I got out of the shower and decided to journal as way to continue to move this emotion, this great grief to flow through and out.  As I wrote I realized many things, one that really set me crying was how much I missed my partner.  Overall, we have done very well as new parents, but in all the logistics and lack of time, I miss him dearly.  I miss laying in bed on Sunday mornings, making love, walking to the beach together for brunch, going home, making love some more, dancing…I miss being languishing lovers.  I miss all the touching, kissing and lovemaking.  I let the tears flow and it felt so good.  I started feeling better instantly.  Sometimes, all we need is a good cry!

Day 87-Ella Re-Visted

Took my new favorite lube (Aloe Cadabra) and the Ella and laid down on the floor.  The dim lights and the scent of lavender from the lube helped me to feel more relaxed.  I started by pressing the Ella into my U-spot and Vaginal Opening, while doing clitoral stimulation.  I was able to quickly go into penetration.  It has amazed me how good vaginal stimulation is feeling these days.  My G-spot seems to be in a perpetual state of arousal and feels better than ever!  I don’t know if it’s all the self pleasure culminating or some kind of shift in my hormones.  I’ve been having more intercourse lately too.  Perhaps it’s a combination of everything.  As the pleasure mounted it became all about the moment and the sensation.  I was able to really feel the exquisite pleasure from the inside as I used the Ella to stimulate my g-spot and u-spot.  With my other hand I was doing clitoral stimulation by rubbing rapidly.  Had a great combination orgasm! Oh, and I went to the gym today, while there I read more of Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.  I have to say that the book is one of my favorites right now.


I’m really aware of my hormonal cycles lately.  I must be all the hormone research I am doing for the RSVP (Reclaiming Sexual Vitality Postpartum) course that I am writing.  I noticed today that something lifted.  I am guessing that my body is out of the high progesterone phase and is moving into more of an estrogen phase.  See, progesterone inhibits your sex drive and can make you feel fat and depressed, but estrogen turns on your receptive sexuality-your come-hither sensuality.  I’m feeling very sexy today.  I’ve been taking better care of myself too, which I also think is playing into me feeling so good.  I started a new workout program to strengthen my abdominals and pelvic floor.  I drank a lot of water today.  I’ve also been running in the evenings.  I think that exercising my body, really, really helps to lift my mood.  Exercise does help raise DHEA levels, which is the mother of your sex hormones and helped you to have increased energy.  I also have noticed that my partners are touching me a whole lot more, which is helping me feel more nurtured.  I took a long hot steam shower today.  While there I used a new soap, which has an exfoliant in it.  I scrubbed ever surface of my skin and indulged in deep breathing while there.  I included taking time to wash my genital area and my pubic hair.  After the shower I massaged my skin with rose oil, then I laid around for a few minutes indulging in the relaxation.  Did I feel good?  You bet!  Before going to sleep I did some clitoral stimulation, but drifted off into slumber land.

Day 83- Vaginal Stretching

Today was A Relaxed Day.  I Read a book, took a hike, had a soak in the bath and had 12 minutes to spare for some genital stimulation.  I had read recently that vaginal stretching helps to produce certain feel good hormones.  So, I decided to give the theory a try.  I started with some stretches to my outer labia and then moved in.  I did long slow stretches with some deep breathing.  I must say that I did feel quite blissful as I drifted into a tiny sleep, before waking up and moving into full clitoral stimulation with a lovely orgasm.

Day 82- Lovely Patterns

Oh, I love my clitoral orgasms.  I’m feeling better overall and taking more time in the day to stop and do something that pleasures me.  I’ve been writing a lot these days, from blogs, to my new book and oral course.  It’s nice to stop and take breaks, to stretch and think about loving myself.  It’s also nice to have those clitoral orgasm.  Took some time to have a few before drifting off to sleep.  Something has changed and I am now able to have orgasms before sleep. YAY!!!!!  I can’t tell you how glad I am to have that back.  Maybe it was pushing through and going into the pattern that did it.  Maybe something has shifted hormonally.  Whatever the case I am glad to be able to self-pleasure before sleep and have an orgasm.  Why not have an orgasm before bed and another first thing in the morning?

Day 80- Morning Pattern and Committing to Self Love

Still feeling aroused from my evening session with my partner, I woke up wanting more               orgasms.  I went into the pattern, had my clitoral orgasm and started the day.  I really   wanted  to get to the gym for a Core Fusion class, but I couldn’t get out the door.  The baby was crying, I couldn’t find my contacts…I eventually did get to the gym, but I was in a rather sour mood.

My partner recently brought up the fact to me that I really neglect myself.  I started to see all the areas of my life where this is true.  I’m a new mom, I run a very full time sex education company, I produce videos, I write blogs, I appear in the media, and I have two partners.  Life is very full.  I don’t really see it as neglect of myself, it’s more like I’m just no that into self-preservation.  But I can see his point.  I need to take more care of myself and that is what this 101 Days of Pleasure project is about, loving myself, taking time for myself.  But it turns into work in some way.  I have to write my blog, film a video, upload the posts, edit etc.  Sometimes it turns from self-pleasure into an obligation.  In order to care for myself more I will be doing less video posting (and since my camera is gone) and more writing for the time being.  There are some basic things I’m just not good at since I had my baby, like remembering to drink water, to take deep breaths, to brush my teeth and hair.  I feel lucky if I get more than one shower in a week.

Okay, I only have 21 more days of this challenge.  If there is any time to do this, it’s now.  First step- Eat a Healthy Lunch! Next make a list of all the ways in which I neglect myself.  That way I can see what is really going on….So I made the list, and it’s pretty depressing.  The biggest area that I neglect myself is my body, the next is financially.  These are the two things I will be working on for the next 21 days.  Feeding my body and my state of abundance.  No more of this neglect stuff.  I also made a list of what feeds me, and I’m going to do lots more of that.  Over the next 21 days, more self-care, more dance, more attention to my finances, more trips to the gym, eating great food and definitely more deep breaths!  Orgasms are easy, but truly and deeply loving myself enough to make my body a priority is another challenge.  I’m up for it.

Day 74-76- Pattern Indulgence

Jamye Waxman gave me permission to just love the my pattern.  So in all the stress of life this week I went for it.  I’ve self-pleasured more than any other time during this project, sometimes 3-5 times a day- just going into my pattern, enjoying the release and moving on with whatever I need to do.  I’ve even started sleeping at night, even though I’m having orgasms.  I feel like something has shift on a bio-chemical level, meaning that maybe my hormones are returning to their pre-pregnancy state.  My milk has gone way down because my son is only feeding at night these days and my stress level has been through the roof.  I’m lucky I can have so many orgasms so quickly and I’m learning to celebrate it, even if I use the same pattern to get there.  I learned when I was a bodyworker that sometimes you have to go into the pattern in order for the pattern to release.  Well, I’m going in deep on this one. We’ll see what happens on the other side.