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Day 87-Ella Re-Visted

Took my new favorite lube (Aloe Cadabra) and the Ella and laid down on the floor.  The dim lights and the scent of lavender from the lube helped me to feel more relaxed.  I started by pressing the Ella into my U-spot and Vaginal Opening, while doing clitoral stimulation.  I was able to quickly go into penetration.  It has amazed me how good vaginal stimulation is feeling these days.  My G-spot seems to be in a perpetual state of arousal and feels better than ever!  I don’t know if it’s all the self pleasure culminating or some kind of shift in my hormones.  I’ve been having more intercourse lately too.  Perhaps it’s a combination of everything.  As the pleasure mounted it became all about the moment and the sensation.  I was able to really feel the exquisite pleasure from the inside as I used the Ella to stimulate my g-spot and u-spot.  With my other hand I was doing clitoral stimulation by rubbing rapidly.  Had a great combination orgasm! Oh, and I went to the gym today, while there I read more of Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.  I have to say that the book is one of my favorites right now.

Day 86-Does a Real Penis Count as a Sex Toy?

Today was another great day.  Things have felt really good since I decided to make this more about self-care and self-love.  I feel like I have felt better and better with each day.  My partner has been more active in his initiation of sex with me, which I am loving.  This evening I went for another run.  I have never in my life, liked to run, but I am really enjoying it right now.  It just feels good to have air in my lungs and my blood pumping as I run up the steep hills in my neighborhood.  I fed my body with a variety of smoothies today, one being my addiction to kale smoothies.  And to top the day off my partner asked me to the love loft.  I knew I had to get some sexual self pleasure into the day, so I asked him if it would be okay for me to use his penis as a sex toy.  He was very okay with it!  I spent a lot of time just using his penis to rub on my vulva.  I then acted like it was a dildo as I penetrated myself, while at the same time using my other hand to stimulate my clitoris.  It wasn’t quite as easy as using a dildo, but he got really into it.  He wasn’t moving at all, he just let me do whatever I wanted to do.  Eventually I let go of using his as a “sex toy” and we just went into a great lovemaking session.  We closed the session with some awesome mutual masturbation where we both had an orgasm at the same time.  I had a number of little orgasms all along the way, but this last one was a blended orgasm from g-spot and clitoral stimulation.  YUMM!

Day 85-Sensory Stimulation

You’ve probably heard of sensory deprivation, where you float in water, in total darkness.  It can take people to some really profound places.  Sensory Stimulation is the same idea only you get there from overstimulation to the senses (minus sight).  I have to say that this is most effective with a partner, but you can do it for yourself.  First, I used a blindfold to shut out the sense of sight.  Sight is our most dominant sense, so shutting it off can help take you deeper into other sensations of sensuality. I had made a tray with a variety of sensory objects: touch, sound, smell and taste.  I explored each object, using it to touch my body, tasting it, smelling it, or making sound with it.  Without sight the world becomes a totally different place.  I was hyper sensitive when I was finished and took a moment to just feel my body.  Later in they day I Made Love with my partner.  I was still sensitized from the sensory stimulation earlier in the day.  We had a wonderful, connected session, which was interrupted by the baby waking up, but that was okay.  We just set a date to continue tomorrow night!

Day 84- FEELING GOOD!!!

I’m really aware of my hormonal cycles lately.  I must be all the hormone research I am doing for the RSVP (Reclaiming Sexual Vitality Postpartum) course that I am writing.  I noticed today that something lifted.  I am guessing that my body is out of the high progesterone phase and is moving into more of an estrogen phase.  See, progesterone inhibits your sex drive and can make you feel fat and depressed, but estrogen turns on your receptive sexuality-your come-hither sensuality.  I’m feeling very sexy today.  I’ve been taking better care of myself too, which I also think is playing into me feeling so good.  I started a new workout program to strengthen my abdominals and pelvic floor.  I drank a lot of water today.  I’ve also been running in the evenings.  I think that exercising my body, really, really helps to lift my mood.  Exercise does help raise DHEA levels, which is the mother of your sex hormones and helped you to have increased energy.  I also have noticed that my partners are touching me a whole lot more, which is helping me feel more nurtured.  I took a long hot steam shower today.  While there I used a new soap, which has an exfoliant in it.  I scrubbed ever surface of my skin and indulged in deep breathing while there.  I included taking time to wash my genital area and my pubic hair.  After the shower I massaged my skin with rose oil, then I laid around for a few minutes indulging in the relaxation.  Did I feel good?  You bet!  Before going to sleep I did some clitoral stimulation, but drifted off into slumber land.

Day 83- Vaginal Stretching

Today was A Relaxed Day.  I Read a book, took a hike, had a soak in the bath and had 12 minutes to spare for some genital stimulation.  I had read recently that vaginal stretching helps to produce certain feel good hormones.  So, I decided to give the theory a try.  I started with some stretches to my outer labia and then moved in.  I did long slow stretches with some deep breathing.  I must say that I did feel quite blissful as I drifted into a tiny sleep, before waking up and moving into full clitoral stimulation with a lovely orgasm.

Day 82- Lovely Patterns

Oh, I love my clitoral orgasms.  I’m feeling better overall and taking more time in the day to stop and do something that pleasures me.  I’ve been writing a lot these days, from blogs, to my new book and oral course.  It’s nice to stop and take breaks, to stretch and think about loving myself.  It’s also nice to have those clitoral orgasm.  Took some time to have a few before drifting off to sleep.  Something has changed and I am now able to have orgasms before sleep. YAY!!!!!  I can’t tell you how glad I am to have that back.  Maybe it was pushing through and going into the pattern that did it.  Maybe something has shifted hormonally.  Whatever the case I am glad to be able to self-pleasure before sleep and have an orgasm.  Why not have an orgasm before bed and another first thing in the morning?

Day 81- Stretching, Feeling, Breathing, Masturbating

I woke up in the middle of the night touching myself.  I must have been dreaming something juicy.  I took the time to go up to the loft and stimulate my clitoris until I had a lovely orgasm and crawled back into bed and drifted back to dreams.  I woke up feeling very committed to my new challenge of really loving and nurturing myself.

My assistant filled my office with fresh flowers from my garden.  I forgot how much I love fresh flowers.  Our roses are so beautiful and fragrant right now.  My office smells like a fresh flower garden and that feeds me, it brings me tons of pleasure and I am taking the time to savor the scents and the visual beauty of these arrangements.  I also decided to take stretch breaks throughout the day.  I did a little yoga, took some deep breaths and as I made my way back to the office I took the time to feel how amazing I am and suddenly I notice the breeze on my skin and the warmth of the sun on my face and I felt amazing.  Sometimes the sun on my skin along with a cool breeze sends shivers all over my body.  It didn’t take much, and I felt fed, and ready to dive into work.  Just a few moment of noticing and a little self care make the day a magnificent one.

Day 80- Morning Pattern and Committing to Self Love

Still feeling aroused from my evening session with my partner, I woke up wanting more               orgasms.  I went into the pattern, had my clitoral orgasm and started the day.  I really   wanted  to get to the gym for a Core Fusion class, but I couldn’t get out the door.  The baby was crying, I couldn’t find my contacts…I eventually did get to the gym, but I was in a rather sour mood.

My partner recently brought up the fact to me that I really neglect myself.  I started to see all the areas of my life where this is true.  I’m a new mom, I run a very full time sex education company, I produce videos, I write blogs, I appear in the media, and I have two partners.  Life is very full.  I don’t really see it as neglect of myself, it’s more like I’m just no that into self-preservation.  But I can see his point.  I need to take more care of myself and that is what this 101 Days of Pleasure project is about, loving myself, taking time for myself.  But it turns into work in some way.  I have to write my blog, film a video, upload the posts, edit etc.  Sometimes it turns from self-pleasure into an obligation.  In order to care for myself more I will be doing less video posting (and since my camera is gone) and more writing for the time being.  There are some basic things I’m just not good at since I had my baby, like remembering to drink water, to take deep breaths, to brush my teeth and hair.  I feel lucky if I get more than one shower in a week.

Okay, I only have 21 more days of this challenge.  If there is any time to do this, it’s now.  First step- Eat a Healthy Lunch! Next make a list of all the ways in which I neglect myself.  That way I can see what is really going on….So I made the list, and it’s pretty depressing.  The biggest area that I neglect myself is my body, the next is financially.  These are the two things I will be working on for the next 21 days.  Feeding my body and my state of abundance.  No more of this neglect stuff.  I also made a list of what feeds me, and I’m going to do lots more of that.  Over the next 21 days, more self-care, more dance, more attention to my finances, more trips to the gym, eating great food and definitely more deep breaths!  Orgasms are easy, but truly and deeply loving myself enough to make my body a priority is another challenge.  I’m up for it.

Day 73-Part One-Special Guest Jamye Waxman!

I’m joined today by Jamye Waxman, author of Getting Off.  If anyone knows female masturbation, it Jamye!

Jamye gave me the homework assignment to let myself be okay with being in my pattern.  Maybe my pattern serves me well and that there are ways to enjoy it.  So, first assignment, enjoy my pattern.  Then she gave me the great idea to use SKYPE as a way to have a mutual masturbation session with my partner.  Sounds like fun and I will schedule it in as a “date” night for sure.

She also shares some tips with you all!